Ageism and Karen Klein: the school bus monitor incident in Greece, NY

The You Tube video of bus monitor Karen Klein, of Greece, NY, has been seen by over a million people (Karen Klein Bus Monitor video, 2012). The event made her a celebrity (see Bullied bus monitor Karen Klein, June 26, 2012). I have included mention of relevant articles and documents here – a point or two from each one – and my own views. Links to articles follow, listed alphabetically, by title.

On Monday June 18, while accompanying students on a school bus, Klein was harassed, through verbal demeaning and rude language, by four 13 year old Grade 7 boys (Bullied bus monitor rallies, June 23, 2012) Another student on the bus recorded the incident in a video lasting ten minutes, which was uploaded to You Tube, going viral.

Explanations

The incident raises many questions, about society, teenagers, bus monitors, not to mention the use of it in US politics to attempt to sway readers over to the Republican party, which questions why America’s citizens won’t stand up for themselves (We are true Americans, July 4, 2012). Another politically-oriented article, but with a different aim, suggests that bullying in politics, and between groups vying for power, is the same kind of bullying that Karen Klein experienced (Bullies on the Bus, June 22, 2012). If one did agree with Charles Blow’s ideas, one would also have to admit that the tendency to ‘bully,’ to ‘harass,’ or to ‘scapegoat’, did not start on the bus, or with 13 year-old boys. It started somewhere else, by more knowledgeable people, with more power.

The term ‘bullying’ is used frequently in various articles, supporting the idea that this was ‘bullying.’ But few address the kind of bullying it entailed, or question this description of the harassment Klein underwent. More detail about the events as they happened on the bus, and Klein’s own views, are explained in ‘Bus Monitor Bullies,’ Jun 12, 2012. One failing, however, is that there is no further discussion on the kind of bullying it was – the groups Klein was a member of, that were targeted.

I’m not convinced this was a typical case of ‘bullying,’ as news reports tend to call it. Neither was Barbara Kay, when she wrote ‘The bus tormenters are cruel, but not bullies,’ June 27, 2012, although we don’t share the same idea about what it was exactly that happened to Karen Klein. But this was no typical case of schoolyard bullying, one child bullying another. This was young teens harassing an adult woman - 68 years of age – an employee placed there to ‘monitor’ them. Calling it bullying is a misnomer! The comments following Kay’s piece offer a sampling of perspectives. But just how many of the articles about the harassment see it as a form of ageism?

Could it be that this incident was an instinctual response by young teenagers against a group most of society seems to be expressing hostility towards, these days. Even if older people were loved and not seen as a burden, stupid, or sexually unattractive by their standards, it is fairly normal for the next generation coming up to want to take over the world and confine most of the older ones, where they can be controlled.

This makes it hard to understand Rick Salutin’s views, and his insight that “What you can eventually learn is that those impulses are inside you, but don’t have to control you” (The fourth of July and the bus monitor, July 05, 2012). Other than that, he tries to make what happened sound ‘normal’ – normal behaviour for rebellious teens.

In my response online to Salutin’s opinion, I referred to the St Patrick’s Day riot in London, Ontario, in 2012, as an example of kids exerting power over authority (1 riot, 68 suspects, 175 charges, July 6, 2012). It wouldn’t be my choice of theories to explain Karen Klein's experience, though it is probably part of what happened.

Neither does this remark by one of the teens’ parents add anything useful: "One of the boys’ dads said he was stunned by the video because it’s not how he raised his kids." (The fourth of July and the bus monitor, July 05, 2012). So if it wasn’t home attitudes, gained from banter around the family dinner table, perhaps the teens picked up these attitudes about baby boomers at school – or from online newspapers on the internet! Lillian Zimmerman, in her piece on older people, thinks it is a strong possibility, saying,

“Take a look at some of the reports we’re regularly exposed to in the media and elsewhere. Aging boomers – also known as the “grey tsunami” or the “ticking time bombs” – are seen as signs of the coming gloom and doom. We’re seduced into feeling that longevity – which simply means we live longer thanks to advances in biological and medical sciences – is a looming threat, poised to reduce our system of social welfare, including medicare – our whole economy, in fact – to penury” (Zimmerman, ‘Why we should like older people,’ Sept 16, 2011).

This bus situation, as captured by the video, involved a “confluence of factors which provided an opportunity for the 10 minutes of bullying to occur” (Psychology of Middle School Kids, June 21, 2012). John Grohol explains six contributing factors, while also mentioning the psychological factor of one the boys’ incredible capacity to be “a pro at identifying Klein’s weaknesses.”

More than once, I saw explanations for the escalation of the verbal abuse suggest that the boys seemed to waiting for, or ‘asking’ for, the adults to take charge. “When there was no reaction, they revved up further” (School-Bus Bullies: Are Adults to Blame Too?, June 26, 2012); or this one - “I think you can hear them testing the limits of what they can get away with” (Fourth of July and the bus monitor, July 5, 2012). Both of these views are simply another version of the ‘boys will be boys’ syndrome, making excuses for their bad behaviour and blaming it on their victims.

On the other hand, John Grohol writes on the subject of teens crying out for authority only that “These teens will then sometimes take advantage of such a situation when the moment presents itself” (Psychology of Middle School Kids, June 21, 2012), not that they are waiting for someone to stop them. Furthermore, in Lagace’s article, the perception is that “it is clear from that video that these students are doing everything in their power to break Klein and make her snap,” (Emotional reactions pour in, Jun 22, 2012).

Solutions

Carol Di Tosti writes,

“Bullies exist because they know the system offers them impunity and the chance to ‘look strong’. If victims try to fight back, punishment usually falls on the victim along with the shame and humiliation of being labeled the provocateur” (Viral Universe More Dangerous, June 25, 2012).

Di Tosti expands on this thought in the article, explaining how our system promotes this upside-down mentality, while also delving more into the effects of social media on such boasting and getting caught.

Was the harassment a symptom of a larger problem? Most definitely. But how does one address such ganging up of like-minded individuals or groups against individuals they seem to despise? Is love and healing the answer (Are the Bus Bullies Monsters, June 22, 2012), or separation from peers, learning through informative sessions and community service? In the end, it was decided that the four boys would undergo some form of alternative program away from their regular school for a year, and do community service – with seniors (Students who bullied NY, June 29, 2012).

50Plus.com refers to the harassment as ‘elder abuse,’ Lisa Lagace saying that “The issue of elder abuse is a big one, but most people mistake it for something that happens privately between family members or at nursing homes” (Emotional reactions pour in, Jun 22, 2012). Lagace also claims that “the idea that children no longer respect their elders comes in full force when watching such a video.” The video definitely illustrates that idea, to an extent probably most people wouldn’t want to think about. But the disrespect and abuse by children is only part of it.

Abuse by families and caregivers, including organizations meant to provide care of various kinds, are another huge area. These and other forms of elder abuse committed by outsiders to the person’s own network are described in the article on the website Helpguide.org, under the headings Signs, Risk Factors, Prevention, and Help (see Elder Abuse and Neglect, June 2012).

Another suggestion to prevent such occurrences as Klein experienced was to build up the self-esteem of potential victims (Anti-bullying campaigns should build, June 25, 2012). On its own, this piece by Andrea DeMeer seems coldhearted and blaming the victim. But taken along with other suggestions, it also should be seen as being part of the solution – though not the only one as bullying is one of those things that can happen to anyone. Until it happens to you, you may not realize that.

Other responses to the event offer helpful advice, such as what she should do with her good fortune, (Financial Advice for Bullied, June 22, 2012) due to the more than half million dollars donated to her cause (Greece students who harassed, June 29, 2012).

Why give donations?

Many articles focused on the money that was donated to Mrs Klein, an amount that surpassed expectations. Here is where Canada became involved, Max Sidorov from Toronto placing Klein’s story on his fundraising website where the amount rose to over $600,000 (Guy behind bus monitor mania, June 21, 2012). Latching onto an idea expressed in a film, someone decided to ‘pay it forward’ and reward Sidorov for his effort by collecting donations for him, so far, $7,254 (Love for Max Sidorov too, 2012).

Why are people giving money to bullied bus monitor, Paul Farhi asks? (Why are people giving, June 21, 2012). He concludes that “perhaps the Internet, and a few political fundraising cycles, have taught Americans to transform sympathy, support and revulsion into transferable dollars.”

But another article suggests that people identify with Karen Klein because they feel undervalued at work (Why America Bleeds For Karen, June 26, 2012), - have empathy for her, perhaps, due to being bullied on the job, or worse yet, feel the need to make up for some past indiscretion as a bully. Perhaps, for the same reasons people donate to causes abroad rather than look at what’s going on in North America, it is easier to use donations to appease a sense of guilt, of turning away having witnessed harassing behaviour.

It appears as though Mrs Klein may have gone from being a scapegoat to a token. And yet, if she had not represented that aspect of America that exemplifies family and all that matters about the country, such as grandparenting, working and paying taxes, and just being the stereotypical older woman, perhaps all this wouldn’t have happened to her.

More on ageism, elder abuse, and scapegoating

According to Canadian Network for the Prevention of Elder Abuse “Ageism can involve stereotypes and myths, or outright disdain and dislike” (Ageism, CNPEA, 2012). But does this explain the severity of the hostility shown in the video of Karen Klein? The concept of scapegoating seems apt for this incident as it involved singling out one person (although it can also be about a particular group), and the heaping of verbal insults and contempt upon the target.

‘Scapegoating and Othering’ is the title of a lesson plan for teaching purposes for Grades 8 to 10 (2012). While the information is valuable, unless readers and students change their attitudes, or are able to empathize, I don’t know how scapegoated (or bullied) individuals can come out of it any better. Such bullying or scapegoating can be directed to many groups, on the basis of age, body type, marital status, sexual preference, type of disability, class, etc.

The idea of mob mentality is part of scapegoating, as more individuals are likely to join in once one person starts by singling out one person. Tamara Avant, Psychology Department director, explains the idea of mob mentality, without naming it scapegoating or bullying, but focusing on the temporary loss of individual identity and the emotional component of joining with others to harass someone who is not one of them (Psychology of Middle School Kids, June 21, 2012). I would also suggest, thinking of her comment that it is social norms that get lost during such incidents, that it also seems as though instinct takes over, which seems a bit like the ‘nature vs nurture’ debate, though in this case, it is probably a little of both, with a temporary leaning towards the ‘nature’ side.

In 2011, Ruth Rosen wrote ‘Stop Scapegoating Baby Boomers—Remember We Helped Forge American Prosperity,’ in response to Thomas Friedman’s ‘Clash of Generations’ (2011). Although both pieces focus on the economy, with different perspectives, these examples of what people read in our society demonstrate how attitudes are formed. There have been other articles in the news that have focused on perceived intergenerational problems, minimizing class differences, and I have also written about this. Allowing things to go on the way they have been isn’t going to help our society adapt to having an increasing population of old people.

Many of the articles listed here have something to offer in the way of enlightening readers to what happened on the bus, how to think about it and what to do about it, from looking at the way people parent to recognizing the factors that lead to such incidents, and reading up on such topics as ageism and elder abuse. There is still a great more that could be said, but this review with brief analysis has been bounded by issues raised here through these articles.

1 riot, 68 suspects, 175 charges — a $500K tab. Was it worth it?
By Scott Taylor
London Free Press
July 6, 2012
http://www.lfpress.com/news/london/2012/07/06/19960451.html

Ageism
Canadian Network for the Prevention of Elder Abuse (CNPEA) -- Réseau canadien pour la prévention des mauvais traitements envers les aîné(e)s
http://www.cnpea.ca/ageism.htm
accessed July 8, 2012

Anti-bullying campaigns should build up victims
By Andrea DeMeer, QMI Agency
London Free Press
June 25, 2012
http://www.lfpress.com/comment/editorial/2012/06/25/19916921.html

Are the Bus Bullies Monsters?
By Amy Weber
Huffington Post
June 22, 2012
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-weber/karen-klein-video-bullying_b_1619084.html

Bullied bus monitor Karen Klein on her huge windfall “I don’t feel like I deserve it”
By Celebitchy
Celebrities Lives
June 26, 2012
http://celebritieslives.com/2012/06/bullied-bus-monitor-karen-klein-on-her-huge-windfall-%E2%80%9Ci-don%E2%80%99t-feel-like-i-deserve-it%E2%80%9D/
http://www.celebitchy.com/235910/bullied_bus_monitor_karen_klein_on_her_huge_windfall_i_dont_feel_like_i_deserve_it/

Bullied bus monitor rallies hometown crowd
By Niamh Scallan Staff Reporter
The Star
June 23, 2012
http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/1216273--bullied-bus-monitor-rallies-hometown-crowd

Bullies on the Bus
By Charles M Blow, Op-Ed Columnist
The New York Times
June 22, 2012
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/23/opinion/blow-bullies-on-the-bus.html

The Bus Monitor Bullies: How to Prevent Your Kids From Acting This Way
By Lesley Kennedy
iVillage
Jun 12, 2012
http://www.ivillage.ca/parenting/child/the-bus-monitor-bullies-how-to-prevent-your-kids-acting-way

The bus tormenters are cruel, but not bullies
By Barbara Kay
National Post Full Comment
Jun 27, 2012
http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2012/06/27/barbara-kay-the-bus-tormenters-are-cruel-but-not-bullies/#more-83107

The Clash of Generations
By Thomas L Friedman, Op-Ed Columnist
NY Times
July 16, 2011
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/17/opinion/sunday/17friedman.html?_r=2

Elder Abuse and Neglect
By Lawrence Robinson, Tina de Benedictis, Ph.D., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.
Helpguide.org
June 2012
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/elder_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm

Emotional reactions pour in for bullied bus monitor
By Lisa Lagace
50Plus.com
Jun 22, 2012
http://www.50plus.com/lifestyle/emotional-reactions-pour-in-for-bullied-bus-monitor/175369/

Financial Advice for Bullied Bus Monitor Karen Klein
By Kate Rogers
FOXBusiness
June 22, 2012
http://www.foxbusiness.com/personal-finance/2012/06/22/financial-advice-for-bullied-bus-monitor-karen-klein/

The fourth of July and the bus monitor
By Rick Salutin Columnist
July 05, 2012
http://www.thestar.com/opinion/editorialopinion/article/1222251--the-fourth-of-july-and-the-bus-monitor

Guy behind bus monitor mania gets cash too as love and money flow
By Deborah Netburn
LA Times – Business
June 21, 2012
http://www.latimes.com/business/technology/la-fi-tn-bus-monitor-mania-20120621,0,7764398.story

Karen Klein Bus Monitor Bullied By Students FULL UNEDITED VIDEO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2n9teSP2P_U"
Accessed July 4, 2012

Love for Max Sidorov too
Indiegogo website
http://www.indiegogo.com/love-for-max-too
accessed July 5, 2012

The Psychology of Middle School Kids Bullying a Bus Monitor
By John M. Grohol, PsyD. Founder & Editor-in-Chief
PsychCentral.com
June 21, 2012
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/06/21/the-psychology-of-middle-school-kids-bullying-a-bus-monitor/

Scapegoating and Othering (pdf file)
By Jeff Gagnon, Media Awareness Network
Department of Justice, Canada
2012
http://mediasmarts.ca/sites/default/files/pdfs/lesson-plan/Lesson_Scapegoating_Othering.pdf

The School-Bus Bullies: Are Adults to Blame Too?
By Erika Christakis
Time - Ideas
June 26, 2012
http://ideas.time.com/2012/06/26/the-school-bus-bullies-are-adults-to-blame-too /

Stop Scapegoating Baby Boomers—Remember We Helped Forge American Prosperity (response, Friedman’s ‘Clash of Generations’ http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/17/opinion/sunday/17friedman.html?_r=2
By Ruth Rosen
CityWatch, Vol 9 Issue 78
Sept 29, 2011
http://209.17.170.70/archive/2297-stop-scapegoating-baby-boomersremember-we-helped-forge-american-prosperity

Students who bullied NY school bus monitor suspended for one year
Global News
June 29, 2012
http://www.globalnews.ca/students+who+bullied+ny+school+bus+monitor+suspended+for+one+year/6442671225/story.html

Views on bullying lack real understanding
By Donald D’Haene, Special to QMI Agency
Response to ‘Anti-bullying campaigns,’ June 25, 2012
London Free Press
June 25, 2012
http://www.lfpress.com/comment/editorial/2012/06/25/19916921.html

Viral Universe More Dangerous For Bullies; A Haven for Victim-Bus Monitor Karen Klein
By Carole Di Tosti, Ph.D.
Technorati.com
June 25, 2012
http://technorati.com/women/article/viral-universe-more-dangerous-for-bullies/

We are true Americans, and we will not submit
By Doug Hagmann
Canada Free Press
July 4, 2012
http://www.canadafreepress.com/index.php/article/47802

Why America Bleeds For Karen Klein, Bullied Bus Monitor
By Mark C. Crowley
Fast Company
June 26, 2012
http://www.fastcompany.com/1841276/why-america-bleeds-for-karen-klein-bullied-bus-monitor

Why Are Buses So Conducive to Bullying?
By Jeremy Stahl
Slate
June 22, 2012
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2012/06/the_karen_klein_school_bus_bullying_incident_demonstrates_how_rampant_the_problem_is_.html

Why are people giving money to bullied bus monitor?
By Paul Farhi
Washington Post – The Style Blog
June 21, 2012
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/arts-post/post/karent-klein-why-are-people-giving-money-to-bullied-bus-monitor/2012/06/21/gJQAPoTAtV_blog.html

Why we should like older people
By Lillian Zimmerman
Globe and Mail
Sept 16, 2011
http://m.theglobeandmail.com/commentary/why-we-should-like-older-people/article627325/?service=mobile

Cory McMullan: Belleville police chief victim of a violent incident

Belleville, Ontario, police Chief Cory McMullan suffered a broken arm in an incident one week ago. She says she was the victim of domestic violence, but it is likely that it was simply an 'incident,' using police terms, and not the kind of violence against women that so many women in society have to endure, due to powerlessness in their home circumstances. One has to wonder what her retired 53-year old husband has experienced himself, in this new kind of society where men are more likely to leave work early, while the wife continues the family career.

Mrs McMullan apparently stated that, "given her position in the community, 'it is important to acknowledge that I am the victim' " (Belleville police chief victim, CBC, Aug 11, 2010). But it may well have been that there were two victims in this case. It is hard to believe that the husband, retired police officer Dave McMullen, would use violence intentionally to try to control his police chief wife. If this was a situation of domestic violence, it wasn't the traditional kind that many wives experienced before they gained financial independence in their lives.

In my comment submitted to the CBC online article, at 8:53 am ET Aug 13, I wrote the following:

Eliza Doolittle writes, "I suggest we wait until the other side of the story is told before jumping to any conclusions."

The problem here is that her arm got broken, and in our society, that kind of violence is usually the deciding factor in any cases of abuse. Psychological, emotional, sexual, or economic abuse is less likely to be recognized, particularly as is applies to men being victimized. Our society has changed so much in the last 30 or 40 years, with women often working past the time when their husbands retire. We don't know the situation here, but we do know how difficult it can be for any man who retires at an early age. The woman, Cory McMullan, has apparently stated, "it is important to acknowledge that I am the victim." Like many women of today, and men of yesteryear, it may be difficult for her to see that there might be another side to the story.
END OF COMMENT


Belleville Police Chief speaks out as a domestic abuse victim
By Natalie Stechyson and Adrian Morrow, Toronto and Belleville
Globe and Mail
Aug. 12, 2010
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/ontario/belleville-police-chief-speaks-out-as-a-domestic-abuse-victim/article1671473/

Belleville police chief victim of 'domestic incident'
The Canadian Press
CBC News
August 11, 2010
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/ottawa/story/2010/08/11/ot-belleville-chief.html

Belleville’s abuzz over police chief as victim of domestic violence
By Carola Vyhnak, Staff Reporter
Toronto Star
Aug 12, 2010
http://www.thestar.com/news/ontario/article/846418--belleville-s-abuzz-over-police-chief-as-victim-of-domestic-violence

Domestic Violence’ narratives: the murders of Lois Mordue and Dave Lucio
By Sue McPherson
Sue's Views on the News
June 9, 2010
http://suemcpherson.blogspot.com/2010/06/domestic-violence-narratives-murders-of.html

Ontario police chief says she was victim of domestic abuse
By QMI Agency
canoe.ca
Aug 11, 2010
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2010/08/11/14989296.html

Public life, public victim
By Joseph Brean
Financial Post
Aug. 12, 2010
http://www.financialpost.com/related/topics/Public+life+public+victim/3388045/story.html
no longer available through this link


Added Aug 24, 2010

Belleville Mayor denies affair with police chief
Carola Vyhnak, Urban Affairs Reporter
Toronto Star
Aug 23 2010
http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/article/851519--belleville-mayor-denies-affair-with-police-chief?bn=1

Belleville mayor denies having affair with police chief
By W. Brice McVicar, QMI Agency
Peterborough Examiner
Aug 24, 2010
http://www.thepeterboroughexaminer.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=2726196

Belleville mayor denies rumours of affair with police chief
By Adrian Morrow, Belleville
Globe and Mail
Aug. 23, 2010
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/ontario/belleville-mayor-denies-rumours-of-affair-with-police-chief/article1682780/
available online through Globe&Mail

links updated April 11, 2012

Domestic Violence’ narratives: the murders of Lois Mordue and Dave Lucio

'Violence against women' came to be a women's issue when feminists realized the term for violence between intimate partners - 'domestic violence' - did not acknowledge the differences from men that women who were abused experienced in their relationships. I first learned about this in the mid-eighties, doing women's studies at university, at UWO in London, Ontario. Since then, the subject of violence in relationships has arisen once more, in the context of two separate homicides, first of Lois Mordue, second, that of Dave Lucio, both of whom had been in an intimate relationship with their killer.

In 2005, I read about the homicide of Lois Mordue on August 8, 2005, had taken place in my hometown, Woodstock, Ontario. At that time I wrote letters to the editor of the Sentinel Review in response to the articles, giving my own views on the murder and on the subject of domestic violence in general. As time went on, I saw that it was being referred to as domestic homicide, woman abuse, and domestic violence, as Robert Alexander, Lois Mordue’s brother, increasingly became involved, claiming that “violence against women won’t stop until both sexes are involved.” (Moving forward, April 19, 2007).

More recently, an article in the National Post (Myths of Domestic Violence, June 2, 2010) brought to my attention another case of homicide, of Dave Lucio, in London, Ontario, on June 6, 2007, which may or may not have been ‘domestic violence.’ A second article reinforced the idea that Doug Lucio, the father of the victim, was referring to the killing of his son as domestic violence (Lucio vigil, June 7, 2010). “Violence is violence, whether it’s men or women. There is no difference” he was quoted as saying. Once again, I felt compelled to write in, to the comments section of the article, as much of what I was hearing, just did not ring true to me.

To summarize, these were two homicides, one male, one female, both killed by individuals with whom they were in intimate relationships but both of which had ended before the murders took place. In the Mordue case, one article refers to the victim's brother, stating "While the Crown prosecutes an alleged domestic homicide, Alexander is trying to find some answers to why domestic violence is happening." (In Honour, Dec 28, 2005). Doug Lucio, the father of Dave Lucio, the male homicide victim, not happy at the way the Police handled the murder case, has been quoted as saying, "there needs to be more equal treatment in cases of domestic violence" (Vigil, June 6, 2010).

Controversy surrounds the Dave Lucio/ Kelly Johnson murder-suicide, apparently due to the neglect of Chief Faulkner to name this a 'domestic' homicide (Myths, June 2, 2010). Erland Mordue, however, was apparently alleged to have committed 'domestic' homicide (In Honour, Dec 28, 2005), although whether that stuck or made any difference to local statistics is not known to me. As it happens, Erland had intended to kill himself also, making that a murder-suicide, but failed in his attempt. He was convicted of first-degree murder and is now serving his sentence.

Both these men - Doug Lucio and Robert Alexander - have turned to domestic violence narratives as a means of dealing with the trauma of the violent deaths of their family members. Yet I wonder how well the circumstances of the cases fit into any version of this narrative. The term narrative is used to suggest a theme, a cultural understanding or norm that is accepted in society as a way of explaining a social phenomenon. When survivors ask themselves Why?, they seek some kind of explanation, and domestic violence is a term that adapts fairly easily to a number of different situations. But I wonder how good the fit is.

Cases that are placed in this category due to the fact they immediately fulfil a basic definition of domestic violence will become subject to the wider implications of domestic violence - domestic abuse, for one, or 'violence against women', the kind of situation women have had to endure historically as the second-class person in the relationship.

Killing one's intimate partner might well be seen as an example of domestic abuse to the extreme - violence resulting in death. But if the relationship had not been abusive earlier, does the end result of murder make it fit the description, on looking back?

If one believes that power has a lot to do with it, and that abuse only happens if one partner has control over the other - financially, emotionally, psychologically, sexually - is it possible to determine whether or not the victims had previously been abused in their relationship, forced to comply with the wishes of the abusing partner? Seeing the misuse of power as the underlying basis of an abusive relationship, we can ask whether the perpetrator of violence, as seen by investigators, might actually be the partner fighting back from their position of powerlessness against a more subtle or insidious form of domestic abuse. Sometimes only the ones involved know whether coercion or other forms of abuse were being used as a means of control. If the killer had also planned to die, making it a murder-suicide, does that change the way they are viewed, as victims as well as victimizers?

Dying a violent death doesn't mean one has been a victim of domestic violence, except in a very narrow meaning - a police definition, or a statistic to be included in a particular set of stats. But on its own it isn't proof that the victim was in an abusive relationship. If domestic violence is used as an excuse - a reason for a murder taking place, the real reason it happened might not be being recognized. So when the victims are happy, fulfilled, independent and financially secure, and not noticeably vulnerable, one could look to other reasons for problems in the relationship and the end result of murder.

Violence against women came to be a feminist cause because any woman who was vulnerable in her relationship was at risk of being subjected to controlling, abusive behaviour from her partner if he didn't know how to act with maturity in the relationship, or chose not to. If not financially independent or holding down a job it might be difficult for her to leave. Now, in Canadian society, more women are working and able to support themselves. Staying in an abusive relationship would no longer be necessary if the man wasn't agreeable to changing abusive behaviour. Hence we have such programs as the White Ribbon Campaign and Changing Ways, for men.

The other side of violence against women has now turned out to be the growth of men's groups aimed at assisting men who are the victims of women's acts of violence in their intimate relationships. If this was a problem previously, it received virtually no attention, but since the growth of the women's movement, and possibly due to increasing numbers of women gaining financial independence and working outside the home, some men have become vulnerable to abuse by their female partners. The pendulum has swung from one side completely over to the other. Thus, as well as groups and programs geared towards assisting women in particular, there are now the same kinds of groups, etc, formed to assist men. One emphasis of such groups is on the legal side of it. Where once women needed feminist lawyers to comprehend and fight for their rights, now men need to have lawyers who can understand the issues addressing their particular circumstances.

But even where there is no abuse, unresolveable relationship problems happen. Not all problems get to be labelled abuse even if they are. If Kelly Johnson hadn't killed herself after killing Dave Lucio, no doubt she would have ended up serving time for murder. But it still would not have meant that Dave Lucio had been a victim of domestic violence, except in the narrowest sense of the term, apparently used in Police Department stats, according to Barbara Kay (London, Jan 28, 2010). Although the definition of domestic violence used by the London Police Dept indicates that a single act of violence by one spouse towards the other constitutes domestic violence, as well as multiple incidents, I wouldn't agree. One incident might be an indication that an abusive relationship has begun, or it might simply be one isolated incident.

There was no indication that the relationship between Dave Lucio and Kelly Johnson had been abusive. The 12-page report (Report, 2008) put out by the London Police Department does not suggest that the relationship between Dave Lucio and Kelly Johnson was characterized by domestic violence. That the two were both members of the London Police Department obviously has made a difference to the way their relationship and deaths were perceived. But any omissions or errors in judgment made by Police Chief Faulkner, or favouritism in treatment of his officers, cannot change that aspect of the relationship between the two involved in the murder-suicide, that it did not involve systematic abuse. One spouse committing adultery, making unreasonable demands regarding sex, work, community activity and friendships, spending, and /or committing repeated physical acts of abuse, are the kinds of behaviour that make a relationship abusive, not the extreme act of homicide only.

In one of the first newspaper articles, it was stated that there was no history of abuse between the Mordues (Murder investigation, Aug 11, 2005). Later, however, it was implied that Erland Mordue was abusive, at least on one occasion, the week before he killed his wife Lois, phoning her several times, according to Lois’s new boyfriend, Zeke Postma, so that he offered to drive her to the Police Station to get a restraining order (Tears flow, April 05, 2007). A separate article mentions what is possibly related to that same incident, one of information-gathering’ the only one on record (Mordue wrote, March 28, 2007). The suggestion is that Erland Mordue was an abusive, controlling husband, creating a threatening, unhappy environment for his wife who was powerless to change her circumstances and leave. Luckily, Lois was not affected greatly by his treatment of her and quickly began a fulfilling life, with a job she enjoyed, a new home purchased for her by her son, and a new boyfriend, resulting in a questionable assessment that she had ever been a victim of abuse during her relationship with Erland Mordue. Abuse generally has an affect on the one being abused. But Lois appears to have been a well-adjusted person (Mordue’s zest for life, Aug 12, 2005). Normally, if a person is lacking family or community support, the potential for abuse is greater.

The world is filled with abuse and violence. Abuse affects a person's psyche, but how can we tell if it's due to the pitfalls of everyday life, of doing a difficult job, unthoughtful colleagues or an uncaring community, or illness, isolation, unfulfilled dreams, or fear of the future?

There was some resistance from women’s advocates and local citizens to Erland Mordue being allowed out on bail, due to his propensity towards cold-bloodedly planning murder, apparently (Mordue granted bail, Feb 13, 2006; Justice System, Feb 28, 2006; Erland Mordue, Sept 19, 2006). But if it is being argued that Erland was guilty of domestic homicide, of murdering someone he was in an intimate relationship with, then that would reduce the likelihood of him committing further acts of violence while out on bail. Women’s activists seem to want men who kill women they are in relationships with to be treated the same as any other murderer (Debunking stereotypes, Mar 13, 2006), though I argued against that line of reasoning (Murder cases, Mar 22, 06). However, it does appear, from the murder-suicide case in London, that treating cases individually instead of generalizing towards them, regarding granting bail, for instance, might be a more compassionate approach. Had Kelly Johnson lived, I wonder if she would have been treated the same as Erland Mordue was. As it is, Kelly Johnson is being pictured as a troubled woman, rather than as a cold-hearted killer.

The references listed below, which are those I have mentioned in this article, are included in the longer Bibliography list, which will be available on my website but not on my blog. For readers interested in this subject of domestic violence, Statistics Canada provides online a document on Violence Against Women (see Measuring violence, 2006), which provides valuable information that goes beyond the purely physical aspects of domestic violence, and that may also be of interest to men who are victims. The Comments sections of some newspaper articles can provide insight from everyday readers in the community and not just journalists. Local news articles about the Mordue case may be available through the archives of the newspaper if no working link is available. Links to letters I wrote to the Sentinel Review - Compassion (2007), Murder cases (2006) and Domestic violence (2005) - are also included here. Academic Jessica Eckstein has done some relevant work in the area of abuse and intimate relationships, a link provided below to one on men who experience violence from women (Masculinity of Men, 2010). Lastly, by chance, an article just out now announces a program intended to help women become aware of abuse in their relationship, apparently, though it does make one wonder, not just about the controlling effect it will have on how women will start to think of themselves, routinely, but the effect on men in their lives (Groundbreaking, June 2010).


List of References

Compassion and Humanity (Response to 'Guilty', S-R, Apr 13, 2007, and 'Society . . . humanity', S-R, Apr 18, 2007)
By Sue McPherson
Letter to the Editor
Woodstock Sentinel Review
submitted April 20, 2007
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/LetterstoEditors/2007AprCompassionandHumanity.doc

Debunking stereotypes
By Susan Houston
Letter to the Editor
Woodstock Sentinel-Review
Mar 13, 2006
http://www.woodstocksentinelreview.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?archive=true&e=2083927 Link unavailable
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/Miscellaneous/2010_Mar_DebunkingStereotypes.doc

Domestic Violence: the Mordues (Response to 'In Honour of Lois', S-R, Dec 28, 2005)
By Sue McPherson
Letter to the Editor, submitted Dec 28, 2005
Woodstock Sentinel Review
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/LetterstoEditors/2005DecDomesticViolenceMordue.doc

Erland Mordue back in jail
Woodstock Sentinel-Review
Sept 19, 2006
http://www.woodstocksentinelreview.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?archive=true&e=2085150 Link not available
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/Miscellaneous/2006_Sept_ErlandMordueBackJail.doc

Family Violence in Canada: a Statistical Profile
Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics
2000
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/85-224-x/85-224-x2000000-eng.pdf

‘Groundbreaking’ project helps abused women
By Kate Dubinski
The London Free Press
June 8, 2010
http://www.lfpress.com/news/london/2010/06/08/14314781.html

In honour of Lois
By Jon Willing
Woodstock Sentinel-Review
December 28, 2005
http://www.woodstocksentinelreview.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?archive=true&e=2083435 Link not working
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/Miscellaneous/2005_Dec_InHonourofLois.doc

Justice system in need of change
unnamed author
Letter to the editor
Woodstock Sentinel Review
Feb 28, 2006
http://www.woodstocksentinelreview.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?archive=true&e=2083832 Link not available
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/Miscellaneous/2006_Feb_JusticeSystemNeedChange.doc

Lucio vigil meant to draw awareness to domestic violence
By Geoff Turner
The London Free Press
June 7, 2010
http://www.lfpress.com:80/news/london/2010/06/05/14280126.html
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/Miscellaneous/2010_June_LucioVigilMeantToDrawAwarenessDV.doc

London, Ontario Police statistics on domestic violence show classic signs of abuse
By Barbara Kay
National Post, Full Comment
January 28, 2010
http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/fullcomment/archive/2010/01/28/barbara-kay-london-ontario-police-statistics-on-domestic-violence-show-classic-signs-of-abuse.aspx Link no longer working
http://oped.ca/National-Post/barbara-kay-london-ontario-police-statistics-on-domestic-violence-show-classic-signs-of-abuse/

Masculinity of Men Communicating Abuse Victimization
By Jessica Eckstein
Western Connecticut State University
2010
http://www.ncdsv.org/images/Eckstein_MasculinityOfMenCommunicatingAbuseVictimization_5-5-2010.pdf
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/Miscellaneous/MaleVictimizationEck.pdf

Measuring violence against women
Statistical Trends 2006
http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/85-570-x/85-570-x2006001-eng.pdf

Mordue granted bail
Woodstock Sentinel Review
Feb 13, 2006
http://www.woodstocksentinelreview.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?archive=true&e=2083731 Link no longer works
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/Miscellaneous/2006_Feb_Mordue_Granted_Bail.doc

Mordue’s zest for life never surprised family
Woodstock Sentinel-Review
Aug 12, 2005
http://www.woodstocksentinelreview.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?archive=true&e=2082573 Link no longer available
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/Miscellaneous/2005_Aug_MorduesZestForLife.doc

Mordue 'wrote it all down in letters'
By Carla Garrett
Woodstock Sentinel Review
March 28, 2007
http://www.woodstocksentinelreview.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?archive=true&e=2086560 Link no longer works
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/Miscellaneous/2007_Mar_MordueWroteItAllDown.doc

Moving forward
By Carla Garrett
Woodstock Sentinel Review
April 19, 2007
http://www.woodstocksentinelreview.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?archive=true&e=2086746 Link not available
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/Miscellaneous/2007Apr19_MovingForward.doc

Murder cases must be handled differently (Response to Debunking Stereotypes, Mar 13, 2006)
By Sue McPherson
Letter to the Editor
Woodstock Sentinel Review
March 22, 2006
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/LetterstoEditors/2006MarMurderCasesResponsetoDebunkingStereotypes.doc

Murder investigation continues
Woodstock Sentinel-Review
Aug 11, 2005
http://www.woodstocksentinelreview.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?archive=true&e=2082563 Link no longer available
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/Miscellaneous/2005_Aug_MurderInvestigationContinues.doc

Myths of domestic violence
By Barbara Kay
National Post, Full Comment
June 2, 2010
http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2010/06/02/myths-of-domestic-violence/#more-2377

Report to the deaths of David Lucio and Kelly Johnson
By Antoon Leenaars, Peter Collins, and Deborah Sinclair
for London Police Dept
May 28, 2008
Report-to-the-london-police-service-and-london-community
http://www.police.london.ca/Newsroom/PDFs/luciojohnsonreport.pdf

Tears flow at Mordue trial
By Carla Garrett
Woodstock Sentinel Review
April 05, 2007
http://www.woodstocksentinelreview.com/News/298996.html broken link
http://www.woodstocksentinelreview.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?archive=true&e=2086649 link unavailable
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/Miscellaneous/2007_Apr_TearsFlow.doc

Vigils marks Lucio death
By Geoff Turner
The London Free Press
June 6, 2010
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/Miscellaneous/2010JuneVigilsMarksLucioDeath.doc


Links updated Apr 12, 2012

See also, for further information, the bibliography following 'Domestic Violence Narratives' at http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/EssaysandWriting/2010_June_DomesticViolenceNarrativesRefBiblio.doc