Showing posts with label scapegoating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scapegoating. Show all posts

15 November 2020

A birthday party, a car in the wrong space, and Mr "L”

This tells of the unresolved incident whereby a tenant parked her car in the parking space allocated to another in an apartment building parking lot in London, Ontario, and the resulting fabrications, false memories, and further offensive behaviour of Mr “L”.

The reason I am telling about this incident that took place 3 years ago is because I need to tell my side of the story, due to boss Mr “L” still saying, three years on, that I parked in the other tenant’s parking space, and that she, apparently, only then parked in mine.

The incident was never investigated, even though I reported it to Management as he had come quite nasty, blaming me and threatening to call a tow-truck if I parked in someone else’s parking space again (I had told him that day, when I went to ask him to ask the owner of the blue car to move, that when I saw someone in my spot, I parked in the next space to it).

I had arrived home at 2:30 in the afternoon, of Tuesday, July 4, 201 (a regular workday for Canadians as far as I know) after being out running errands with the car for a couple of hours or so.  When I realized someone else had parked in my parking space, I just pulled into the next space to that, which happened to be empty.  I was tired and did not realize it would cause such a problem to Mr “L” sense of logic, or to the dismay of some friendly residents in the building who were helping him celebrate his birthday, they said. 

I left my car in the next space while I went in to see if Mr “L” was around or someone who knew who had parked in my space.  As I walked by the lounge I saw Mr “L” sitting there with other residents as they commonly did, and went in, although this time they were eating cake and ice cream. Immediately, I was treated as though I was trespassing on a private party, although this was a working day and the middle of the afternoon. I was scorned for appearing thus, to ask him if he could call the owner of the blue car (the one usually parked beside mine) before I went up to my apartment.  

Mr “L” was more interested in where I had parked my car (because, well, wherever I parked it now it would not be in the space allocated to me.)  He turned against me, ,just as his group of old girls had, and threatened to have my car towed if I parked in someone  else’s space again, because I should have parked in the Visitor’s parking area.  He had the authority to have cars towed, he suggested, although the fact that this other woman had parked her car in my space while I was away didn’t seem to bother him. It was MY car that he threatened to have towed. He did finally go to call the owner of the blue car, after finishing his cake and ice cream.   Within a few minutes she came down, and we walked out together, for her to move hers into her own space, and me to move mine into my space.  She seemed a bit confused, as one would be if they had parked in the wrong space and not realized it.

The situation, however, was left with me being blamed, as Mr “L” decided to spin it, distorting what happened into it being me who parked in the blue car lady’s space so she had no choice but to park in mine, apparently.  However, Mr “L” wasn’t interested in calling the tow truck on her parking  mistake, only on me, for parking in the next empty space.  And blaming me was what he continued to do, it appears, during all the time I attempted to get the situation sorted out with Property Management.  I had been unable to pursue the matter farther due to other commitments.  2017 was a busy time, dealing with health issues and a doctor behaving about as nonsensically as Mr “L”.  I just didn’t have time to do it all.  

Having that erratic situation never being resolved, as Management was unable to deal with it effectively, was another burden I was forced to carry, through being blamed for yet another incident that was not my fault.  There is no Tenants’ Association for residents to go to, when such things happen. It is only people like Mr “L” and his inner circle, presumably, who get to say what’s what.

I just happened to mention the parking space incident one day, on my way through the parking lot, to Mr “L” as it happens, who is still the one in charge, although since Management had never conducted an investigation, apparently not even asking the errant lady herself how it came about, no guilt or innocence was ever decided upon. It was only stated by the higher-ups that the situation had been “addressed” thoroughly and it was time to drop it. It looked like the situation hadn’t been addressed at all – especially about the approach to the situation by Mr “L”.  

So imagine my surprise when I discovered, three years later and straight from the horse’s mouth himself, that I had parked in the blue-car-lady’s space first, whereupon she had parked her car in mine. He didn’t say whether she had mentioned that “fact” to him on July 4, 2017, before going up to her apartment after parking in my space, or whether she had simply decided that nature would take it’s own course.  He just said I had been the one at fault, parking first in her space, then she in mine. Nobody has mentioned that incident to me, in fact, other incidents have not been mentioned either, as though the girls in the know had learned what they should take as the truth.  Nothing seems to arrive at a resolution here. They are just left up in the air, and the girls in the inner circle would know what had been decided as the truth.

I still don’t know how that situation as described by Mr “L” could have come about – how did the blue car lady come to arrive home – and when – only to find I had apparently parked in her space.  I would like Mr “L” to be more specific, because of course the superintendent would know. But if I had already been in her parking space, (parking there earlier in the day, or the day before), at some point the evening before or on July 4, she had to have come home with her car, and parked it in my space because hers was taken.  If she had gone to Mr “L”, I’m sure he would have asked the lady J what time she arrived home and found her space taken.  After all, he would want the truth of the matter, wouldn’t he?   

I’d like to hear his story of how this incident happened, from notes he took about it.  I’d like to know what time she says she arrived home and, parking in my space instead (which Mr “L” and Management insists is a no-no), did she then attempt to contact Mr “L”? Did she leave a note for him, or a phone message, to get me to move my car?  How about some details on exactly how this situation came about, since they are claiming I was at fault for parking in the wrong space first.  I spoke to the lady once or twice after that, asking her to call Management and tell them what happened, but she said only that she thought the situation had been resolved. No, lady with the blue car. It hasn’t been resolved!

What was odd about this was that he seemed ready to place blame on me as soon as I walked in – his women, too - and was most certainly ready with the story that I had parked in the wrong space the day before. But if that were the case, that I had in the wrong space first, wouldn’t the other lady had gone to him about it on July 3; so why didn’t he telephone me that day and ask me to move my car. Or why didn’t he check during the day of July 4th, and realizing I had gone out in my car, which I had at about 12:30 pm, why didn’t he contact the lady who apparently had been obliged to put her car in my space, to ask her to move her car, now that I had gone? 

I was blamed, unjustly, for causing this incident. Now, three years later the lady in the blue car is still in her parking space, and I am in mine, beside hers.  I have explained here how this incident came about, and the result for me of trying to get it resolved. I have spoken my truth, and others have spoken their lies.  But I would still like them to speak up and admit they were wrong, and wrong to blame me.  If anyone can explain how this happened, in a different way than what I am stating, then explain, giving times of day, and who parked where, and to whom did they report it.

As well as getting the story straight, about the parking space, what’s been ignored altogether by Mr “L” and other staff, is his behaviour and that of his female companions.

 Part 2

 So what was it, you may be wondering, that started this up again, this situation that had been in limbo for 3 years?

On Tues Sept 15, 2020, I had gone out to the car, and stopped for a moment to ask a question of Mr “L”, about something for the apartments.  I happened to say something about living with the old parking space incident from 3 years ago, having to live with it not being settled and he responded in a manner I wasn’t expecting, saying that I was the one who parked in the other person’s parking space first, and so she parked in mine when she came home.  Well he caught me off guard, and I responded, telling him what I thought of him.  He wasn’t taking an approach that suggested it was a no-fault matter. He placed the blame squarely on me!  I told him off, indicating I did not accept his version of what happened and then left! Nothing had changed. He’s still the same old person.  (And as I have stated, I would like him to explain exactly how that incident happened the way he said it did, and why on earth the lady didn’t try to fix the problem instead of parking in my parking space and simply going home).

On Friday Oct 9, 2020, when I came back from getting groceries, a red pickup truck with a hook on a chain on it was parked in my parking space, no doubt from the site next door, although most park their vehicles away from the residents’ parking areas. 

Without entering the driveway into our lot, I stopped just as two guys in red vests went by, on their way to the construction site. I explained that there was a pickup truck in my parking space, and would they mind trying to locate him and have him move his vehicle (assuming he was from the site).  They did that, and a few minutes later the man came and got into his truck - without speaking to me - and moved it.  I didn’t get out of my car. I parked it and went home.

The next day, Saturday, October 10, the London Free Press had a special piece about Thanksgiving, so I wrote a comment about this incident for it, thanking the two workers who had been passing by just when I needed them – too tired to get out of the car to have to go looking for the owner of the red pickup myself, at the construction site!

The comments made by myself and one other following the article were later removed, but that doesn’t lessen the appreciation I have towards some people of this city who were so helpful to me at that time. In fact, it makes me appreciate the kindness I received even more.  I still have what I wrote in the comment I submitted:

Regarding a recent incident, I am grateful two workers in red vests who happened to be on the spot went to find the man who parked his red truck in my parking spot while he went to the construction site next door. I appreciated not having to try to find someone who could help in this matter without having it end up the same as it did 3 or 4 years ago when I was the one who got blamed for being the person who initially parked in the space next to mine. I am grateful for the opportunity to tell about that incident and the disregard, rudeness, and lies of the people involved. The London Free Press has provided readers with this opportunity to discuss local issues and happenings until recently (soon after the rope incident in the nature area, which offended some people), when commenting on articles was severely restricted. I don't like to see people with power using it to silence others! (WE ASKED LONDONERS: What are you most grateful for this year? https://lfpress.com/news/local-news/we-asked-londoners-what-are-you-most-grateful-for-this-year   Oct 10, 2020).  

Parking in another person’s parking space isn’t such a big deal. But it was, when Mr “L” and his buddies were in charge of such situations. 

16 June 2020

The Threat-sensitive Brain: a theory about animals applied to Gabriel Wortman

An analysis of
Seeking to explain Nova Scotia shootings: Inside the 'threat-sensitive brain'
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/mass-killing-portapique-mental-health-1.5602698
'A threat-sensitive brain that is always looking for evidence to confirm the world is against them' by Michael MacDonald· The Canadian Press· Jun 08, 2020 7:25 AM AT | Last Updated: June 8

The Threat-sensitive Brain 
Can such a theory be applied to human beings or is it better off being applied to animals who survive on instinct? (revision of response to same article previously posted elsewhere).
This type of mental health explanation, as described in the article, ignores the reality of informal social networks or community ideals of conforming to the authority of those who have been granted power to control the lives of those living within their borders. Communities based on tradition or other cultural values may well result in the individual being punished discreetly and informally for breaking the rules of the hierarchy, which could be based on sexuality, or gender, wealth, or another kind of perceived status of members of the community.
Seeking to understand the behaviour of the individual presumably isolated within it, in relationships with fragile bases in which loyalty and trust have little place, means that injustices will build up, and if not resolved may eventually result in the individual attempting to break away from this insurmountable problem.
The idea of the 'threat-sensitive brain' must surely result in loud beeps in the brains of those reading about it, as though the individual has some kind of physical brain disorder (or animal-like brain where instinct is what counts) that results in the individual being unable to reason, to adapt, to be in a relationship, and to live a life of substantial success within the community and at a distance, doing work that has earned him compliments and security, doing sensitive, personal work with clients/patients seeking dental repair. If Gabriel Wortman were this kind of person, he probably wouldn't have been able to achieve all that he did.
The term 'injustice collector' is the creation of those who have lived at the top too long and has little understanding of what really happens in society, in communities that are encouraged and rewarded for demonstrating the collective value of family, sharing, and conformity and excluding those who don't quite measure up.
Referring to being an 'injustice-collector' as a way of seeing the world, as Tracy Vaillancourt (children's mental health and violence expert) does, according to this article, is only one possibility of a motivation for this tragic event. This expert in child bullying would do better spending more time on the subject of 'peer victimization' among adults.
Read ‘Dangerous Instincts’: FBI profiler explains the dangers of that ‘nice’ neighbor <https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/dangerous-instincts-fbi-profiler-explains-the-dangers-of-that-nice-neighbor/2011/10/17/gIQAkvNCDM_story.html> for information on the world-view of Mary Ellen O’Toole, a former FBI profiler who coined the term.
Michael Arntfield, criminologist turned armchair psychologist, who speaks of the 'injustice-collector' as someone who often feels "cheated or disrespected by others, even though there may be no evidence to support those beliefs." And that is most likely the problem. If a community does show disrespect in small ways, in an unrelenting manner, there may well be no “evidence” of the type that someone like Arntfield, a former police officer now working in a 'customized academic appointment' at Western University, would value (see Wikipedia, Michael Arntfield). Most of his work seems focused on the individual rather than the community, as most psychologists involved in extrapolating this theory of 'injustice-collecting' and the 'threat-sensitive brain' are.
I suggest a focus on the community, and I don't mean accepting their stories on Wortman as 'evidence' of his guilt or fitness-of-mind or not, but treating them, too, as though they might not be as credible as the investigators of this horrendous tragedy would like them to be. Liking should not translate to 'credibility'. Rather, investigators should attempt to be objective and to keep in mind that when such a tragedy happens, evidence of the sort that shows the killer in a good light may well be kept hidden. No one wants to support the bad guy at a time like this. Mr Wortman was known to be a caring and community-minded denturist in his working community and among those who knew him in that role. But community is often set apart from a person's work-life. It doesn't mean that Wortman should be labelled 'injustice-collector' because those in the business of psychology see him as such. 
A perspective taken from the discipline of Sociology might be better at undoing some of the falsehoods of this perspective, and the very one-sided blame on one man, similar, in fact, to the moral culpability of the tragedy of the Montreal massacre of 1989, during which killings were committed by Marc Lepine, for reasons that were distorted and attempted to be hidden from Canadians.

References:
Seeking to explain Nova Scotia shootings: Inside the 'threat-sensitive brain'  
by Michael MacDonald·
The Canadian Press·
Posted: Jun 08, 2020 7:25 AM AT | Last Updated: June 8
 https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/mass-killing-portapique-mental-health-1.5602698

 ‘Dangerous Instincts’: FBI profiler explains the dangers of that ‘nice’ neighbor
By Monica Hesse 
Style
October 24, 2011
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/dangerous-instincts-fbi-profiler-explains-the-dangers-of-that-nice-neighbor/2011/10/17/gIQAkvNCDM_story.html

29 January 2017

The Women’s March, social injustice, and personal experience

About a week ago a piece was written for the Washington Post that I found to be out of place in the Opinions section. I hesitate to provide the title of it, as it might automatically turn readers against me, for not viewing it with the sensitivity it requires, at least on one level. But here it is - the title 'My wife died just after Election Day. I'm attending the Women's March for her'. 

Death so often does necessitate the offering of condolences, ignoring errors in judgement or in practice, and just generally thinking of uplifting things to say. But then why would anyone choose to publish an obituary in the Opinions section of a newspaper?  Perhaps the reason was that it wasn’t an obituary in the usual sense. It was as much about the husband of the person who had died as about the deceased. And yet, scores of comments in the Comments section following the article were written in a manner that resembled condolences more than comments.

One might ask, was the article telling us the opinion of the writer on some social or political  - or economic  - issue? Not exactly, no, the writer appeared to be questioning his own sense of masculinity, in preparing to march in place of his deceased wife in the Saturday’s Women’s March, held in Washington and in places around the world, on Jan 21, 2017. Those who marched did so for a variety of reasons, many of the marchers no doubt being personally motivated, others marching for the rights of women who are marginalized in society, some having specific interests, such as abortion rights for women, violence against women, etc.

Mr Ikins’s wife suffered a tragic death, a fall down stairs, a coma, and finally, release through death. I can relate to that experience of having a fall. A year ago today I suffered a slip and fall, through which I broke my femur. Luckily  - I think – I survived, not having severed an artery and having a fast-acting, thoughtful neighbour, paramedics ready to do their bit, and an expert surgeon to care for my injury. Since then I have had to walk using a walker, but in a few days I will have the nails removed from the knee – nails that held the rod in place while the leg healed. So I am hoping for the best outcome. But by chance, my equilibrium – my sense of balance, experienced as a kind of giddiness, has affected my ability to walk normally too. Mr Ikins says that Nov 8 was the worst day of his life.  It was not a great day for me, either.

On November 8, 2016, I attended an appointment with an ENT (ear, nose and throat) specialist, to tell him about the symptoms I had been having, but found my concerns being dismissed by a specialist who was overbooked, overworked that day, no doubt, and who was not expecting this new set of symptoms. For some reason, he was also defensive, and spent far too much time explaining to me why he sent the last report to my old family doctor, the one I had laid a complaint against with the CPSO, and filed an application against with the Human Rights Tribunal.  I had realized the report went to that doctor, despite my requesting from his appointment taker/secretary that it not be, but it was anyway, in order to abide by the regulations. 

On my way in, I had asked the girl at his clinic front desk if the report could be sent to a different doctor this time, and she said she thought so, but to ask the doctor when I saw him, which I did. All this took precious time away from my concerns – of the balance issue – disequilibrium.  Finally, he offered me a partial VNG test (look it up). I agreed, and later, at home, looked up the test on google. I saw that I had been offered only a piece of the set of 4 tests, and so decided to try to get the tests I needed. To skip to the end of this story, the appointment-taker/secretary and the staff at the ENT clinic lied about me, and the ENT specialist cancelled the appointment I had with him. I am now left with no suitable options for a proper diagnosis nor for treatment options, nor to repair the damage to my reputation.  The only possible option I have, which won’t help my vestibular/vertigo problems, is to lay a complaint against this doctor too.

Returning to the article written by Charles Ikins, I have to say I question whether Charles Ikins’s perception of the reasons for the march were rather limited. He saw it as being for women who experience indignities of the kind Trump had presumably committed, the very reason his wife was protesting.  And he decided that it would not be unmasculine for him to march in place of his wife, to honour her beliefs and commitment.

For the most part, I believe the women’s march was about fighting for the rights of women, and especially marginalized women, women who do not get the same kinds of opportunities and treatment that other women do – some of them single women, poor women, women without husbands, black women, old women, and so on. The maintaining of rights of women – abortion, sexual rights, and so on, were also reasons women marched.

I thought that the Washington Post had used a grieving husband’s thoughts and piece honouring his wife as a political manoeuvering – publishing it on Trump’s Inauguration Day, the day before the women’s march. Taken on its own, as a piece intended for friends and family, the article could be seen as having merit. But published in the Washington Post, for the public to read, it came across as something very different.

Part way through the article, Mr Ikins mentions the admonition for participants to “check your privilege.” He says he thinks he knows the meaning of the phrase, and yet the article itself is an example of what the privileged should try not to do. Instead of seeing things through their own eyes only, and taking for granted the things they have, the material advantages in life, and seeing their own cause as the one most worthy, they might try to see what others experience in life.

It is part of the human condition for tragedy to strike families – all of us - tragedies that are not anyone's fault. That's not going to help the writer of the article talked about here, but it needs to be said. Furthermore, some people in life – women among them – struggle in ways the privileged might not even be able to imagine – and it is not always men who are responsible for the injustices.  Finally, I have reservations about the value of a Women’s March if President Trump is chosen to be the most recent scapegoat for feminists seeking to unite women over a cause - any cause – to enhance interest in the feminist movement.


By Michael Alison Chandler
Washington Post - Opinions
Jan 12, 2017

By Charles Ikins
Washington Post – Opinions
Jan 20, 2017
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/my-wife-died-on-election-day-im-attending-the-womens-march-for-her/2017/01/20/e83c8092-df2d-11e6-ad42-f3375f271c9c_story.html?utm_term=.52db5f512fff&wpisrc=nl_opinionsA&wpmm

8 July 2012

Ageism and Karen Klein: the school bus monitor incident in Greece, NY

The You Tube video of bus monitor Karen Klein, of Greece, NY, has been seen by over a million people (Karen Klein Bus Monitor video, 2012). The event made her a celebrity (see Bullied bus monitor Karen Klein, June 26, 2012). I have included mention of relevant articles and documents here – a point or two from each one – and my own views. Links to articles follow, listed alphabetically, by title.

On Monday June 18, while accompanying students on a school bus, Klein was harassed, through verbal demeaning and rude language, by four 13 year old Grade 7 boys (Bullied bus monitor rallies, June 23, 2012) Another student on the bus recorded the incident in a video lasting ten minutes, which was uploaded to You Tube, going viral.

Explanations

The incident raises many questions, about society, teenagers, bus monitors, not to mention the use of it in US politics to attempt to sway readers over to the Republican party, which questions why America’s citizens won’t stand up for themselves (We are true Americans, July 4, 2012). Another politically-oriented article, but with a different aim, suggests that bullying in politics, and between groups vying for power, is the same kind of bullying that Karen Klein experienced (Bullies on the Bus, June 22, 2012). If one did agree with Charles Blow’s ideas, one would also have to admit that the tendency to ‘bully,’ to ‘harass,’ or to ‘scapegoat’, did not start on the bus, or with 13 year-old boys. It started somewhere else, by more knowledgeable people, with more power.

The term ‘bullying’ is used frequently in various articles, supporting the idea that this was ‘bullying.’ But few address the kind of bullying it entailed, or question this description of the harassment Klein underwent. More detail about the events as they happened on the bus, and Klein’s own views, are explained in ‘Bus Monitor Bullies,’ Jun 12, 2012. One failing, however, is that there is no further discussion on the kind of bullying it was – the groups Klein was a member of, that were targeted.

I’m not convinced this was a typical case of ‘bullying,’ as news reports tend to call it. Neither was Barbara Kay, when she wrote ‘The bus tormenters are cruel, but not bullies,’ June 27, 2012, although we don’t share the same idea about what it was exactly that happened to Karen Klein. But this was no typical case of schoolyard bullying, one child bullying another. This was young teens harassing an adult woman - 68 years of age – an employee placed there to ‘monitor’ them. Calling it bullying is a misnomer! The comments following Kay’s piece offer a sampling of perspectives. But just how many of the articles about the harassment see it as a form of ageism?

Could it be that this incident was an instinctual response by young teenagers against a group most of society seems to be expressing hostility towards, these days. Even if older people were loved and not seen as a burden, stupid, or sexually unattractive by their standards, it is fairly normal for the next generation coming up to want to take over the world and confine most of the older ones, where they can be controlled.

This makes it hard to understand Rick Salutin’s views, and his insight that “What you can eventually learn is that those impulses are inside you, but don’t have to control you” (The fourth of July and the bus monitor, July 05, 2012). Other than that, he tries to make what happened sound ‘normal’ – normal behaviour for rebellious teens.

In my response online to Salutin’s opinion, I referred to the St Patrick’s Day riot in London, Ontario, in 2012, as an example of kids exerting power over authority (1 riot, 68 suspects, 175 charges, July 6, 2012). It wouldn’t be my choice of theories to explain Karen Klein's experience, though it is probably part of what happened.

Neither does this remark by one of the teens’ parents add anything useful: "One of the boys’ dads said he was stunned by the video because it’s not how he raised his kids." (The fourth of July and the bus monitor, July 05, 2012). So if it wasn’t home attitudes, gained from banter around the family dinner table, perhaps the teens picked up these attitudes about baby boomers at school – or from online newspapers on the internet! Lillian Zimmerman, in her piece on older people, thinks it is a strong possibility, saying,

“Take a look at some of the reports we’re regularly exposed to in the media and elsewhere. Aging boomers – also known as the “grey tsunami” or the “ticking time bombs” – are seen as signs of the coming gloom and doom. We’re seduced into feeling that longevity – which simply means we live longer thanks to advances in biological and medical sciences – is a looming threat, poised to reduce our system of social welfare, including medicare – our whole economy, in fact – to penury” (Zimmerman, ‘Why we should like older people,’ Sept 16, 2011).

This bus situation, as captured by the video, involved a “confluence of factors which provided an opportunity for the 10 minutes of bullying to occur” (Psychology of Middle School Kids, June 21, 2012). John Grohol explains six contributing factors, while also mentioning the psychological factor of one the boys’ incredible capacity to be “a pro at identifying Klein’s weaknesses.”

More than once, I saw explanations for the escalation of the verbal abuse suggest that the boys seemed to waiting for, or ‘asking’ for, the adults to take charge. “When there was no reaction, they revved up further” (School-Bus Bullies: Are Adults to Blame Too?, June 26, 2012); or this one - “I think you can hear them testing the limits of what they can get away with” (Fourth of July and the bus monitor, July 5, 2012). Both of these views are simply another version of the ‘boys will be boys’ syndrome, making excuses for their bad behaviour and blaming it on their victims.

On the other hand, John Grohol writes on the subject of teens crying out for authority only that “These teens will then sometimes take advantage of such a situation when the moment presents itself” (Psychology of Middle School Kids, June 21, 2012), not that they are waiting for someone to stop them. Furthermore, in Lagace’s article, the perception is that “it is clear from that video that these students are doing everything in their power to break Klein and make her snap,” (Emotional reactions pour in, Jun 22, 2012).

Solutions

Carol Di Tosti writes,

“Bullies exist because they know the system offers them impunity and the chance to ‘look strong’. If victims try to fight back, punishment usually falls on the victim along with the shame and humiliation of being labeled the provocateur” (Viral Universe More Dangerous, June 25, 2012).

Di Tosti expands on this thought in the article, explaining how our system promotes this upside-down mentality, while also delving more into the effects of social media on such boasting and getting caught.

Was the harassment a symptom of a larger problem? Most definitely. But how does one address such ganging up of like-minded individuals or groups against individuals they seem to despise? Is love and healing the answer (Are the Bus Bullies Monsters, June 22, 2012), or separation from peers, learning through informative sessions and community service? In the end, it was decided that the four boys would undergo some form of alternative program away from their regular school for a year, and do community service – with seniors (Students who bullied NY, June 29, 2012).

50Plus.com refers to the harassment as ‘elder abuse,’ Lisa Lagace saying that “The issue of elder abuse is a big one, but most people mistake it for something that happens privately between family members or at nursing homes” (Emotional reactions pour in, Jun 22, 2012). Lagace also claims that “the idea that children no longer respect their elders comes in full force when watching such a video.” The video definitely illustrates that idea, to an extent probably most people wouldn’t want to think about. But the disrespect and abuse by children is only part of it.

Abuse by families and caregivers, including organizations meant to provide care of various kinds, are another huge area. These and other forms of elder abuse committed by outsiders to the person’s own network are described in the article on the website Helpguide.org, under the headings Signs, Risk Factors, Prevention, and Help (see Elder Abuse and Neglect, June 2012).

Another suggestion to prevent such occurrences as Klein experienced was to build up the self-esteem of potential victims (Anti-bullying campaigns should build, June 25, 2012). On its own, this piece by Andrea DeMeer seems coldhearted and blaming the victim. But taken along with other suggestions, it also should be seen as being part of the solution – though not the only one as bullying is one of those things that can happen to anyone. Until it happens to you, you may not realize that.

Other responses to the event offer helpful advice, such as what she should do with her good fortune, (Financial Advice for Bullied, June 22, 2012) due to the more than half million dollars donated to her cause (Greece students who harassed, June 29, 2012).

Why give donations?

Many articles focused on the money that was donated to Mrs Klein, an amount that surpassed expectations. Here is where Canada became involved, Max Sidorov from Toronto placing Klein’s story on his fundraising website where the amount rose to over $600,000 (Guy behind bus monitor mania, June 21, 2012). Latching onto an idea expressed in a film, someone decided to ‘pay it forward’ and reward Sidorov for his effort by collecting donations for him, so far, $7,254 (Love for Max Sidorov too, 2012).

Why are people giving money to bullied bus monitor, Paul Farhi asks? (Why are people giving, June 21, 2012). He concludes that “perhaps the Internet, and a few political fundraising cycles, have taught Americans to transform sympathy, support and revulsion into transferable dollars.”

But another article suggests that people identify with Karen Klein because they feel undervalued at work (Why America Bleeds For Karen, June 26, 2012), - have empathy for her, perhaps, due to being bullied on the job, or worse yet, feel the need to make up for some past indiscretion as a bully. Perhaps, for the same reasons people donate to causes abroad rather than look at what’s going on in North America, it is easier to use donations to appease a sense of guilt, of turning away having witnessed harassing behaviour.

It appears as though Mrs Klein may have gone from being a scapegoat to a token. And yet, if she had not represented that aspect of America that exemplifies family and all that matters about the country, such as grandparenting, working and paying taxes, and just being the stereotypical older woman, perhaps all this wouldn’t have happened to her.

More on ageism, elder abuse, and scapegoating

According to Canadian Network for the Prevention of Elder Abuse “Ageism can involve stereotypes and myths, or outright disdain and dislike” (Ageism, CNPEA, 2012). But does this explain the severity of the hostility shown in the video of Karen Klein? The concept of scapegoating seems apt for this incident as it involved singling out one person (although it can also be about a particular group), and the heaping of verbal insults and contempt upon the target.

‘Scapegoating and Othering’ is the title of a lesson plan for teaching purposes for Grades 8 to 10 (2012). While the information is valuable, unless readers and students change their attitudes, or are able to empathize, I don’t know how scapegoated (or bullied) individuals can come out of it any better. Such bullying or scapegoating can be directed to many groups, on the basis of age, body type, marital status, sexual preference, type of disability, class, etc.

The idea of mob mentality is part of scapegoating, as more individuals are likely to join in once one person starts by singling out one person. Tamara Avant, Psychology Department director, explains the idea of mob mentality, without naming it scapegoating or bullying, but focusing on the temporary loss of individual identity and the emotional component of joining with others to harass someone who is not one of them (Psychology of Middle School Kids, June 21, 2012). I would also suggest, thinking of her comment that it is social norms that get lost during such incidents, that it also seems as though instinct takes over, which seems a bit like the ‘nature vs nurture’ debate, though in this case, it is probably a little of both, with a temporary leaning towards the ‘nature’ side.

In 2011, Ruth Rosen wrote ‘Stop Scapegoating Baby Boomers—Remember We Helped Forge American Prosperity,’ in response to Thomas Friedman’s ‘Clash of Generations’ (2011). Although both pieces focus on the economy, with different perspectives, these examples of what people read in our society demonstrate how attitudes are formed. There have been other articles in the news that have focused on perceived intergenerational problems, minimizing class differences, and I have also written about this. Allowing things to go on the way they have been isn’t going to help our society adapt to having an increasing population of old people.

Many of the articles listed here have something to offer in the way of enlightening readers to what happened on the bus, how to think about it and what to do about it, from looking at the way people parent to recognizing the factors that lead to such incidents, and reading up on such topics as ageism and elder abuse. There is still a great more that could be said, but this review with brief analysis has been bounded by issues raised here through these articles.

1 riot, 68 suspects, 175 charges — a $500K tab. Was it worth it?
By Scott Taylor
London Free Press
July 6, 2012
http://www.lfpress.com/news/london/2012/07/06/19960451.html

Ageism
Canadian Network for the Prevention of Elder Abuse (CNPEA) -- Réseau canadien pour la prévention des mauvais traitements envers les aîné(e)s
http://www.cnpea.ca/ageism.htm
accessed July 8, 2012

Anti-bullying campaigns should build up victims
By Andrea DeMeer, QMI Agency
London Free Press
June 25, 2012
http://www.lfpress.com/comment/editorial/2012/06/25/19916921.html

Are the Bus Bullies Monsters?
By Amy Weber
Huffington Post
June 22, 2012
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-weber/karen-klein-video-bullying_b_1619084.html

Bullied bus monitor Karen Klein on her huge windfall “I don’t feel like I deserve it”
By Celebitchy
Celebrities Lives
June 26, 2012
http://celebritieslives.com/2012/06/bullied-bus-monitor-karen-klein-on-her-huge-windfall-%E2%80%9Ci-don%E2%80%99t-feel-like-i-deserve-it%E2%80%9D/
http://www.celebitchy.com/235910/bullied_bus_monitor_karen_klein_on_her_huge_windfall_i_dont_feel_like_i_deserve_it/

Bullied bus monitor rallies hometown crowd
By Niamh Scallan Staff Reporter
The Star
June 23, 2012
http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/1216273--bullied-bus-monitor-rallies-hometown-crowd

Bullies on the Bus
By Charles M Blow, Op-Ed Columnist
The New York Times
June 22, 2012
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/23/opinion/blow-bullies-on-the-bus.html

The Bus Monitor Bullies: How to Prevent Your Kids From Acting This Way
By Lesley Kennedy
iVillage
Jun 12, 2012
http://www.ivillage.ca/parenting/child/the-bus-monitor-bullies-how-to-prevent-your-kids-acting-way

The bus tormenters are cruel, but not bullies
By Barbara Kay
National Post Full Comment
Jun 27, 2012
http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2012/06/27/barbara-kay-the-bus-tormenters-are-cruel-but-not-bullies/#more-83107

The Clash of Generations
By Thomas L Friedman, Op-Ed Columnist
NY Times
July 16, 2011
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/17/opinion/sunday/17friedman.html?_r=2

Elder Abuse and Neglect
By Lawrence Robinson, Tina de Benedictis, Ph.D., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.
Helpguide.org
June 2012
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/elder_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm

Emotional reactions pour in for bullied bus monitor
By Lisa Lagace
50Plus.com
Jun 22, 2012
http://www.50plus.com/lifestyle/emotional-reactions-pour-in-for-bullied-bus-monitor/175369/

Financial Advice for Bullied Bus Monitor Karen Klein
By Kate Rogers
FOXBusiness
June 22, 2012
http://www.foxbusiness.com/personal-finance/2012/06/22/financial-advice-for-bullied-bus-monitor-karen-klein/

The fourth of July and the bus monitor
By Rick Salutin Columnist
July 05, 2012
http://www.thestar.com/opinion/editorialopinion/article/1222251--the-fourth-of-july-and-the-bus-monitor

Guy behind bus monitor mania gets cash too as love and money flow
By Deborah Netburn
LA Times – Business
June 21, 2012
http://www.latimes.com/business/technology/la-fi-tn-bus-monitor-mania-20120621,0,7764398.story

Karen Klein Bus Monitor Bullied By Students FULL UNEDITED VIDEO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2n9teSP2P_U"
Accessed July 4, 2012

Love for Max Sidorov too
Indiegogo website
http://www.indiegogo.com/love-for-max-too
accessed July 5, 2012

The Psychology of Middle School Kids Bullying a Bus Monitor
By John M. Grohol, PsyD. Founder & Editor-in-Chief
PsychCentral.com
June 21, 2012
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/06/21/the-psychology-of-middle-school-kids-bullying-a-bus-monitor/

Scapegoating and Othering (pdf file)
By Jeff Gagnon, Media Awareness Network
Department of Justice, Canada
2012
http://mediasmarts.ca/sites/default/files/pdfs/lesson-plan/Lesson_Scapegoating_Othering.pdf

The School-Bus Bullies: Are Adults to Blame Too?
By Erika Christakis
Time - Ideas
June 26, 2012
http://ideas.time.com/2012/06/26/the-school-bus-bullies-are-adults-to-blame-too /

Stop Scapegoating Baby Boomers—Remember We Helped Forge American Prosperity (response, Friedman’s ‘Clash of Generations’ http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/17/opinion/sunday/17friedman.html?_r=2
By Ruth Rosen
CityWatch, Vol 9 Issue 78
Sept 29, 2011
http://209.17.170.70/archive/2297-stop-scapegoating-baby-boomersremember-we-helped-forge-american-prosperity

Students who bullied NY school bus monitor suspended for one year
Global News
June 29, 2012
http://www.globalnews.ca/students+who+bullied+ny+school+bus+monitor+suspended+for+one+year/6442671225/story.html

Views on bullying lack real understanding
By Donald D’Haene, Special to QMI Agency
Response to ‘Anti-bullying campaigns,’ June 25, 2012
London Free Press
June 25, 2012
http://www.lfpress.com/comment/editorial/2012/06/25/19916921.html

Viral Universe More Dangerous For Bullies; A Haven for Victim-Bus Monitor Karen Klein
By Carole Di Tosti, Ph.D.
Technorati.com
June 25, 2012
http://technorati.com/women/article/viral-universe-more-dangerous-for-bullies/

We are true Americans, and we will not submit
By Doug Hagmann
Canada Free Press
July 4, 2012
http://www.canadafreepress.com/index.php/article/47802

Why America Bleeds For Karen Klein, Bullied Bus Monitor
By Mark C. Crowley
Fast Company
June 26, 2012
http://www.fastcompany.com/1841276/why-america-bleeds-for-karen-klein-bullied-bus-monitor

Why Are Buses So Conducive to Bullying?
By Jeremy Stahl
Slate
June 22, 2012
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2012/06/the_karen_klein_school_bus_bullying_incident_demonstrates_how_rampant_the_problem_is_.html

Why are people giving money to bullied bus monitor?
By Paul Farhi
Washington Post – The Style Blog
June 21, 2012
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/arts-post/post/karent-klein-why-are-people-giving-money-to-bullied-bus-monitor/2012/06/21/gJQAPoTAtV_blog.html

Why we should like older people
By Lillian Zimmerman
Globe and Mail
Sept 16, 2011
http://m.theglobeandmail.com/commentary/why-we-should-like-older-people/article627325/?service=mobile