Showing posts with label lust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lust. Show all posts

8 April 2011

The London Slut Walk - The 'S' word should be SEX, not slut

I was just about to post a comment this evening on an article in the London Free Press (Walker objects, Apr 8) when comments were cut off, after only 4 had been posted - all by men. The article was not the first on the local response to the apparent remark by a Toronto cop addressing law students, that 'women should avoid dressing like “sluts” if they didn’t want to be victimized' (What starts with an ‘s’, April 8, LFP).

Following is my comment, mainly in response to comments made by others.

I'm not sure if Jeff is trying to say there should be a Slut Walk? (Megan Walker doesn't like the idea, and Jeff doesn't approve of her kind of activism, he says, so I gather he's all for the Walk by that name). Are you sure you won't be tempted to refer to the marchers as Sluts, Jeff?

There must be a better way to handle this situation.

Mick, the word slut has different connotations according to gender. Men have always been allowed to be proud of their sexual exploits. Not so with women. Most keep quiet about them so they won't be judged.

That's all I wrote. And my response to the other article today by Kelly Pedro is also lacking, in part due to word limits placed on contributions. I would have liked to have added that the s word in question should probably not be 'slut' at all but rather, 'sex'. Focusing on the word slut is distorting the problem, taking the emphasis off a topic that really needs to be discussed, as demonstrated by the lack of understanding by more than one commenter.

It's too bad the comment made by one commenter got deleted. It illustrated some of the attitudes that need to be addressed, instead of women simply demanding their rights to dress provocatively without considering negative consequences. Removing the derogatory comments, what remains of his comment is this:

"Now if I pin money to my shirt,walk late at night and get mugged, can the 'it shouldn't be the way I dress' excuse work too??????"

Nowhere has it been mentioned that women's behaviour is also part of the problem. Being sexually provocative might also result in unwanted attention, just as their attire might. When it comes to sexual violence, it's not always the clothing that matters. If a woman appears vulnerable, or available, she might be more likely to be seen as a target.

One issue I have concern with, regarding the Value Women campaign initiated by Megan Walker, is that it's not inclusive of the idea of 'slut,' or at least of the idea that women are sexual (and may be seen as 'sluttish'). Pushing the problem away is not a solution, either, no more than the opposite, which appears to be that of embracing the notion of women as sluts, as in the Slut Walk.

When women dress in hot outfits, that is exactly what men are thinking of when they use the word 'slut'. And that's probably what the cop meant when he used it and got into trouble for doing so. The word is used so commonly that he obviously used it in the wrong manner, and definitely in the wrong place.

Men don't think like women in matters pertaining to sex. A woman can believe she has rights (as men do too, of course), but if they act as though no one can take away those rights, or that men 'shouldn't', by dressing as they have a right to, sexually provocatively, in the wrong place at the wrong time, they may be increase the chances of being noticed, and place themslves at risk. There is a difference between 'should' and 'what is', and women are being warned by the police that men don't always think or behave rationally when it comes to sex. and if men won't be considerate of women, in such circumstances, then women have to take precautions.

Feminists claim that men have always been in awe of women's sexuality and the power it has over them, so that's one reason why, in general, some men intentionally demean women by referring to them as sluts - putting them in their place, so to speak.

It probably makes some men angry just to see the attitudes of women participating in the Slut Walk. How does that help the problem of 'violence against women.' And how did the walk itself help educate the public about violence against women?


Campaign counters Slut Walk
By Kelly Pedro
London Free Press
April 8, 2011
http://www.lfpress.com/news/london/2011/04/08/17922886.html

Slutwalk: "Because We've had Enough"
By Thomas Cermak
London Fuse
April 10, 2011
http://londonfuse.ca/images/slutwalk-because-weve-had-enough

Walker objects to women being called 'sluts'
By Kelly Pedro
The London Free Press
April 8, 2011
http://www.lfpress.com/news/london/2011/04/07/17916251.html

What starts with an ‘s’ and divides women’s groups?
By Kelly Pedro
London Free Press
April 8, 2011
http://www.lfpress.com/news/london/2011/04/07/17914086.html#/news/london/2011/04/07/pf-17916296.html
-----------------------------------------------
added May 19, 2011

Sex and the SlutWalk (with comments)
by Agenda intern Andrew Lynes
TVO - The Agenda
May 6, 2011
http://www.tvo.org/cfmx/tvoorg/theagenda/index.cfm?page_id=3&action=blog&subaction=viewpost&post_id=15290&blog_id=323

22 January 2010

Sex for grades in universities

[updated Apr 28, 2012]

The term 'sexual harassment' doesn't get to the underlying issues of many problems within universities, in whichever country one happens to be (the country that is the subject of the article the title is linked to, above, is South Africa). But sex and sexuality, I'm sure, must underlie many situations related to grants and the allocation of TA positions to PhD students, for instance. 

I discovered that trying to deal with these, without bringing in the more sensitive aspects of sex and sexual relationships didn't help my situation with teaching or keeping the supervisor of my research. I would say too, as other letters here indicate, that it isn't just a problem associated with men's behaviour, but equally about some women's willingness to use whatever is at their hands to ease their way through the system; and then, not always just to ease their way, but acting politically in matters of sexuality and coupledom, for reasons I'm not clear about.

Thus, one woman's problems with the system might be swept aside by other women more intent on supporting men's 'rights' and desires, it seems. I am now back in Canada where the situation is no different.

Added Apr 28, 2012

'Sex for grades in Africa' (John Morgan, THE, Times Higher Education, UK) opened up this topic for me, and I have left my comments there, and also on the site of the Canadian piece, ‘On-campus sex ban,’ by Dakshana Bascaramurty, which drew over 250 comments - insights from students, professors, parents, law enforcement, as well as teachers and potential teachers and other interested readers.

Other articles have come to my attention from the same time period – the year 2010. It’s good to see someone (a man) presenting what I consider to be practical suggestions for profs in such situations, bordering between consensual relations with students, negotiations for practical rewards, and sometimes, what might be thought of as sexual harassment, when the one with the real power over career or no-career, uses it and causes harm.

In particular I noticed this paragraph by Hugo Schwyzer, "an expert on body image, sexuality and gender justice," and would like to add one change in the wording, which to me must sum up many of the interactions that go on.

Change the first line from ‘When a student has a crush on a teacher or mentor’ to this:

“[When a prof or mentor thinks a student has a crush on him], it’s the job of that prof to “affirm and re-direct.” The affirmation doesn’t have to be as obvious as calling the student out on the crush, unless the student has already confessed it. The key is avoiding three “wrong” responses: shaming or belittling the student, withdrawing from one’s mentoring role, or engaging in amorous relations” (Schwyzer, ‘How do you desexualize that.’)

I recall a professor turning his back on me, after having misinterpreted my behaviour. Having crossed the line, whenever he saw me he turned his back and took off in the other direction. I had looked upon him with admiration, and interest in his work, but that was the end of that. So I do agree with Schwyer that profs do need to learn how to “affirm and re-direct.” It’s not a skill that comes naturally, even though profs are often looked at as the ones who would know what to do, and always do the right thing.

I agree too, with much of what Schwyzer writes in ‘Overselling agency.’ No one is born knowing how to act, how to get what they need and want from a relationship or university education. His focus is one young women, but writing from the perspective of someone who at midlife went to university, single-again as a divorced woman from an overprotective (controlling) marriage, I was ill-prepared for dealing with matters of sexuality and relationships. I thought I had choices, but obviously not. Younger women had the opportunity to engage, without thought, in the kind of behaviour I never did, having been married at age 20, twenty years earlier.

In ‘Crushing student crushes,’ Barry Dank says, “For Schwyzer, students have crushes since students are de facto children. They are not yet grownups who can experience a mature love. Or translated- they have not yet graduated; once they graduate then they are adults. Reminds me of the old idea that a girl cannot become a woman, remains a girl or a child until she married.’

Everyone has their own idea of when a person becomes an adult. It’s true what Dank says, that a common belief used to be that women became adults when they married and became Mrs so and so. Underlying that notion might have been the idea that a married woman was capable of having sex and producing children. In today’s world, I get the impression that becoming an adult, for young women, greatly depends on their willingness to have sex, and most particularly, without feelings, in other words, to have sex on the same terms men have often had sex, historically. Thus, to be an adult is to be more like a man – and that includes the ideas of earning a living and paying taxes, and sometimes, keeping their own name when they marry.

In reality, becoming an adult is a process, and even then, people can resort to childish behaviour (or worse), when the going gets rough. The idea of life stages used to be popular, such as those of Erik Erikson, and I would think there’s more truth to that than the idea of adulthood coming at a particular point in a person’s life. I see this concept of life cycle development as relevant to a person’s sexual development also, as people’s sexual needs and desires change as they grow up, perhaps gain a partner, grow more mature, and grow into old age.

As for female students having sex with their profs, many are young, and most likely either naïve or too knowledgeable about their sexual power to be involved with immature profs. For a year or two, as an undergrad in the early 90s, I was a member of Barry Dank’s asc-l discussion list, on this topic of profs, students, and sexual relations. It ended badly when it came to light that my views and experiences were not the same as theirs. Rather than discuss the topic as having victims on both sides – profs being falsely accused and female students subjected to unwanted advances and being punished for not conforming, I finally realized only one side mattered for the Dank group.

Four of the articles below (from the US) are meant to be read in order. The Hugo Schwyzer and Barry Dank conversation took place via both their websites, starting with
1) Schwyzer’s ‘How do you desexualize that?’ to
2) Dank’s ‘Crushing student crushes,’ to
3) Schwyzer’s ‘Overselling agency’ and back again to
4) Dank’s ‘Response to Hugo Schwyzer (on Overselling agency).’

Another times Higher (THE) article, ‘Sex and the university,’ was mentioned in one of the articles so I have included the link, below, as well as a link to a related post in this blog, 'Lust: one of the seven deadly sins of the academy.'


Crushing student crushes (Response to How do you desexualize that?)
By Barry Dank
Dankprofessor’s weblog
Sept 29, 2010
http://dankprofessor.wordpress.com/2010/09/29/crushing-student-crushes/

How do you desexualize that? A reprint on the “erotics of teaching”
By Hugo Schwyzer
hugoschwyzer.net
Sept 19, 2010
http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2010/09/19/how-do-you-desexualize-that-a-reprint-on-the-erotics-of-teaching/

Lust: one of the seven deadly sins of the academy
By Sue McPherson
Sue's Views on the NewsSept 19, 2009
http://suemcpherson.blogspot.ca/2009/09/seven-deadly-sins-of-academy.html

On-campus sex ban: Hands off the student body, Prof (with 250 comments)
By Dakshana Bascaramurty
Globe and Mail
Apr 08, 2010
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/on-campus-sex-ban-hands-off-the-student-body-prof/article1528269/comments
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/on-campus-sex-ban-hands-off-the-student-body-prof/article1528269/
http://samcpherson.homestead.com/files/Miscellaneous/2010_Apr_Comments_OnCampusSexBan.doc (comments only)

Overselling agency: a reply to Barry Dank on teacher-student sex
By Hugo Schwyzer
HugoSchwyzer.net
Sept 30, 2010
http://hugoschwyzer.net/2010/09/30/overselling-agency-a-reply-to-barry-dank-on-teacher-student-sex/

Response to Hugo Schwyzer (on Overselling agency)
By Barry Dank
HugoSchwyzer.net
Oct 1, 2010, at 2:43 pm
http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2010/09/30/overselling-agency-a-reply-to-barry-dank-on-teacher-student-sex/

Sex and the university
By Hannah Fearn
THE
May 22, 2008
http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/story.asp?storycode=401935&encCode=986570951BC54097875JTBS737226611

Sex for grades in Africa's academy
By John Morgan
Times Higher Education (THE) (UK)
21 January 2010
http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/story.asp?storycode=410068



Links updated April 2012


19 September 2009

Lust: one of the seven deadly sins of the academy

Revised, and links updated May, 2012

The seven deadly sins, which are the subject of this article (The seven deadly sins, 2009) about campuses in the UK, are sartorial inelegance, procrastination, snobbery, lust, arrogance, complacency, and pedantry. THE is the Higher Education supplement for the British newspaper, The Times. The article, especially the section on lust which was written by Terence Kealey, Vice-chancellor of Buckingham University, has attracted a great deal of attention in the UK, and even beyond its borders. See some articles listed below. Kealey also wrote a response to the criticism in the Times Higher (see Terence Kealey: a response, 2009).

Although the original article (The seven deadly sins, 2009) was meant to be humourous -satirical, actually – not everyone saw it as a laughing matter, myself included. The comments following the THE articles, are an indication of how sensitive and demanding the topic of lust is in universities.

It's debatable just how light-hearted the article really is - humourous satire, or serious matters for the academy to think about? From the attention it has received in the British Press, one has to wonder where this will lead.

Two other articles on closely related subject matter that have been published in the Times Higher are ‘Sex and the University’ (2008), and ‘Sex for grades in Africa's academy’ (2010) to which I responded in ‘Sex for grades in universities,’ 2010.

For Canadian input into this subject – of lust, not humour – see the Globe and Mail’s ‘On-campus sex ban: Hands off,’ 2010).

Some of the articles have numerous comments, and I don’t see that there’s anything I can add here without turning to personal experience, so I will just leave it at that.


Buckingham University vice-chancellor defends remarks over female students
By Adam Gabbatt
guardian.co.uk
Sept 23, 2009
http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2009/sep/23/university-female-students-perk

Curvey females safe for viewing, writes professor
By Husayn Marani
Western Gazette, formerly UWO Gazette
Sept 29, 2009
http://www.uwogazette.ca/2009/09/29/news-briefs-9/
http://issuu.com/uwogazette/docs/03.016_tuesday__september_29__2009

Curvy students 'perk of the job'
By Katherine Sellgren
BBC News education reporter
Sept 23, 2009
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/education/8270475.stm

On-campus sex ban: Hands off the student body, Prof
+ 256 comments
By Dakshana Bascaramurty
Globe and Mail
Apr 08, 2010
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/on-campus-sex-ban-hands-off-the-student-body-prof/article1528269/

Senior academic calls female students 'a perk of the job'
By Alison Kershaw, Press Association
Independent
Sept 23, 2009
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/senior-academic-calls-female-students-a-perk-of-the-job-1791904.html

The seven deadly sins of the academy
By Matthew Reisz
THE (Times Higher Education)
Sept 17, 2009
http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/story.asp?storycode=408135

Sex and the university
By Hannah Fearn
THE (Times Higher Education)
May 22, 2008
http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/story.asp?storycode=401935&encCode=986570951BC54097875JTBS737226611

Sex for grades in Africa's academy
By John Morgan
THE (Times Higher Education)
Jan 21, 2010
http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/story.asp?storycode=410068

Sex for grades in universities
By Sue McPherson
Sue’s Views on the News
Jan 22, 2010
http://suemcpherson.blogspot.ca/2010/01/sex-for-grades-in-universities.html

Terence Kealey: a response to criticism
By Terence Kealey
THE (Times Higher Education)
Sept 23, 2009
http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/story.asp?storycode=408404